~ There is a drop-down for the year you were born, with a huge selection of years in the visible box, and still you must scroll down, down, down to find your year.
~ You used to call your friend who works in a doctor's office to ask for valium. Now you call to ask for eyedrops to treat pinkeye.
~ The librarian at your daughter's school starts talking about that Bon Jovi song, Dead or Alive, and you say, I remember when that song came out -- it was so popular, and she says, How old are you?
~ You find yourself trying to explain to your kids what a tape recorder is.*
~ You find yourself trying to explain to your kids that Drake and Josh did not write Here Comes the Sun.
~ You find yourself trying to explain yourself to your kids, period.
~ You actively promote the notion that Because I said so is a reasonable explanation for why a child must do whatever you say.
~ You take detours that allow you to show people all of the places you used to live, and you find yourself saying This wasn't here a lot.
~ You can't remember if you've already done a blog post just like this one before, and that's okay.
~ You can neither spell nor define familiar words without consulting a dictionary.
~ You squint for no apparent reason. (You do not need glasses. Nope. Not you.)
*Seriously, though -- tape recorders are fun.
I was a Lab Rat for GMO Apples by Susan Harris
15 hours ago