Sunday, March 14, 2010

the man eats raw eggs

Me: Lee --
Lee: Yes --
Me: Tell us about eggs.
Lee: What would you like to know about eggs?
Me: What prompted you to begin eating raw eggs?
Lee: I believe we have established that I am mildly insane.
Me: Were there any other contributing factors -- health benefits, taste, etc.?
Lee: Yes.
Me: Please elaborate.
Lee: I'd heard about eating them before and that they're really good for building muscle and they are supposedly a perfectly balanced food. For years, I believed all the propoganda PR hype from the anti- raw egg people -- that they were really bad for your cholesterol. But after further research, just out of curiosity, I found that there are quite a number of sources that espouse the health benefits of raw eggs and that explain that detrimental effects only come from cooked eggs, because cooked eggs change the structure of several different elements within the egg. I had also believed the hype about salmonella until I did further research and found that the percentage of eggs that are infected with salmonella is somewhere in the neighborhood of one in thirty thousand eggs, but those eggs are factory hatchery eggs, where the chickens live in unhealthy conditions and are fed unhealthy foods.
Me: So it's a darn good thing our chickens starting laying again recently.
Lee: Si. Yes.
Me: How many raw eggs are you eating each day?
Lee: No more than two.
Me: Do you season them, or do you just crack them into a glass and drink them like Rocky?
Lee: Well, that's an interesting question, Meg. Not really that interesting, but worth answering at least. (Insert loving look from me to Lee here.) Until today, my process was to take eggs that are no older than six days, thoroughly wash my hands, and then wash the shell of the egg with hot water and one drop of soap, crack it into an egg-drinking glass (has to be the right size), and then drink it. At first I thought it would be icky, but in actuality, since I've begun to consume raw eggs, the thought of cooked eggs has become more icky.
Leah: You eat raw eggs, Daddy?
Lee: Yes, yes.
Leah: Ewwww!!!!
Lee: They really have no flavor -- barely perceptible flavor. But, as to your question, do I season them: for the first time today, as an experiment, I put a dash of hot sauce on the egg (Leah: Eww, gross!) before I drank it (Leah: Eww, double gross!), and it therefore tasted like hot sauce.
Me: Are the anti- raw egg people, like, militant?
Lee: Insidious. It's a worldwide conspiracy.
Me: Why doesn't the egg industry address this issue and promote the consumption of raw eggs?
Lee: The egg industry represents egg factories, which produce nasty eggs. I would never eat a raw egg from an unknown source.
Me: Are you going to start eating all of our backyard eggs? Because I still like them scrambled.
Lee: Then we need more chickens.

12 comments:

Patsy said...

ewwwww....

Rurality said...

Have to go with Leah on this one. :)

Brandy said...

I'm gonna agree with the ewww. But it's more of a texture thing for me...

Shannon said...

ewwww...no wait...I'm intrigued....

I've actually done some of the same research and come to the same conclusions. I was gonna put a raw egg in a smoothie, I just haven't -gulp- gotten around to it. Yet, I mean. Isn't that the *secret* ingredient in an Orange Julius?

countrypeapie said...

Yep -- ewwww, gross, and double gross! You will never catch me downing a raw egg from a glass, Rocky-style. But Shannon -- yes! They did put eggs in Orange Juliuses (Julii?)! (Oh, man, did I ever LOVE a good Orange Julius!) And if ever I were to eat a raw egg again, in this post-Orange Julius world, it would definitely be mixed into some sort of smoothie. Preferably without my knowledge.

Journey2thepast said...

You really do need to write comedy...

Tara said...

Rocky style . . . that is precisely what I associate raw egg consumption with in my limited mind! Interestingly, (to me, anyway) our eggs are fresher here but don't last as long. They've no dates on them (on the actual egg) and they are ALL brown. Which at first, made we want to fill up a big black wire basket with them and sit it near me as I drank something hot from my speckled blue enamelware pitcher. But I don't own either container, so I'm just country in my heart with my brown eggs. Sorry, didn't mean to go so long . . .

allison McClendon said...

It's the slime factor for me. I have to remain utterly in denial before I can even eat cooked eggs, and they must (MUST) be all mixed up and thoroughly set before I can bring them to my lips. Suckin' em down raw would put me over the edge. But yay for Lee for finding a new snack.

countrypeapie said...

Hey Journey ~ Thanks! I think Lee is the funny one. I just broadcast his oddities.

Tara, you do need to get yourself a big black wire basket and a speckled blue enamelware pitcher!

Allison, I couldn't eat eggs at all when I was a kid (well, except for the whole Orange Julius thing). I thought they were absolutely icky. I like them scrambled now, and I adore quiche. And I agree, they must be fully cooked -- no runny eggs!

Julia said...

Raw in eggnog I'm a fan for sure! By themselves, not so much.

Pull Up A Chair said...

Lee is an idiot. We are on this planet for a very short time and there is not one, good reason to spend that time trying to swallow a big, giant ball of "snot" because of some imagined *health benefit*
Lee is an idiot.Lee is an idiot.Lee is an idiot.Lee is an idiot.Lee is an idiot.Lee is an idiot.

Lee / The Egg Man said...

I've had a great deal more energy since starting this. And it hasn't bothered my stomach at all. Other breakfast stuff seems to really sit there and be unpleasant. In my tummy. I'm much calmer too. That woman (jerk)who called me an idiot didn't upset me much at all. I can't say I care too much what people other than myself think about my diet. But since it was Blogged and has been commented on...I should tell you all it is actually pretty good stuff. I'm not asking anyone to try it. That leaves more for me.
-Be happy everyone.
PS. DO NOT try this with those old sickly store bought eggs. Mine come fresh from the hen house and I wash them first.